photo by Robert Bell
“Walk toward the good in life and one day you will arrive”
It was a colder than usual day in sunny california. I was finally feeling the mild winter to come during my brisk walk. I am usually filled with a sense of gratitude as I examined the trees and sky in the park, but I was fighting the whole way with my mind. I kept dwelling on the past and my financial struggle. It kept me from clearing the cluttered path ahead to make some stride in my day. I was aware of my thoughts as they came and went and this helped me aknowledge the mental coup that was going on in my head. The bad thought are there and will not go away, I realize this. What i can do is think of them as reminders of motivation, a bunch of answers to the "why?' to fuel my ambition. Who wants to feel shame generated from within? Not Me. The abstract oblivion I have found myself trapped in has an exit. I can feel my spirit's breath with every push it makes toward an exit. The uncomfortable moments I used to tear through now feel like a thick web I struggle to cut loose from. I will get there.